What NOT to do when stood up for dinner
1) Keep telling the waitress “Oh I’m SURE s/he’ll be here ANY minute. S/He is just always late. What can you do?”
2) Order a bottle of wine and two glasses when you feel the pressure that the waitress from #1 is upset you’ve taken up prime “two-person” real estate when clearly you have no one joining you
3) Stare at your mobile phone (a watched pot … smoking … boil … whatever - I want a joint, I’m bored of waiting!)
4) Project your feelings of un-coolness upon every further interaction with the wait-staff (“Can I get you anything else?” does not secretly mean “Can you please leave this place because you are embarrassing me sitting there on your own”)
5) Realise after 45minutes that it is quite obvious to the entire restaurant that you have been stood up, but that they realised this 30 minutes ago and have been discussing as much ever since
6) Over-tip and write “never speak of this again, please” on your receipt
7) Go home and drink a bottle of crisp white wine while watching “Blue Valentine”.
Follow these tips, and your Thursdays will be WAY more awesome than mine!
1 year ago