1) Keep telling the waitress “Oh I’m SURE s/he’ll be here ANY minute. S/He is just always late. What can you do?”
2) Order a bottle of wine and two glasses when you feel the pressure that the waitress from #1 is upset you’ve taken up prime “two-person” real estate when clearly you have no one joining you
3) Stare at your mobile phone (a watched pot … smoking … boil … whatever - I want a joint, I’m bored of waiting!)
4) Project your feelings of un-coolness upon every further interaction with the wait-staff (“Can I get you anything else?” does not secretly mean “Can you please leave this place because you are embarrassing me sitting there on your own”)
5) Realise after 45minutes that it is quite obvious to the entire restaurant that you have been stood up, but that they realised this 30 minutes ago and have been discussing as much ever since
6) Over-tip and write “never speak of this again, please” on your receipt
7) Go home and drink a bottle of crisp white wine while watching “Blue Valentine”.
Follow these tips, and your Thursdays will be WAY more awesome than mine!
1 year ago
I just read (below) that a spokeswoman for the ‘Center for Arizona Policy’ group (http://www.azpolicy.org/) is “surprised”, “offended”, “disappointed” and “outraged” that Cindy McCain supports marriage equality.
Please take a minute to ring Cathi Herrod and tell her that you are surprised, offended, disappointed and outraged that civil rights aren’t being recognized in the state of Arizona. And that Cindy McCain might be a Botoxed Viccodin vending machine, but she is ten times more enlightened and compassionate than Herrod and her ilk.
(602) 424-2525
If you can’t get through on the phone, here’s the email address: info@azpolicy.org Would be great if you could pass this along to your fellow Zonies.
Thanks! Big love from Australia Day at Bondi Beach (it is our Kangaroo version of the 4th of July, Yanks),
Josh
From http://joemygod.blogspot.com/
“It’s one thing to disagree on the issue of same-sex marriage. It’s quite a different matter to label those of us — really the millions not only in California and Arizona, but throughout this country — who stand for marriage between one man and one woman as ‘haters.’ Mrs. McCain has effectively called all of us ‘haters.’ That surprises me. For those of us in Arizona who worked very hard to pass Prop. 102 in 2008, we’re offended, we’re disappointed and we’re outraged.” - Cathi Herrod of the Center For Arizona Policy, the group that backed the state’s successful Prop 102 referendum to ban same-sex marriage.
2 years ago
